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Volume 6, Edition #1
ISSN: 1442-6315


1. Back in Business!
      - Winners of our Free Software Draw
2. Special Deals
3. Software Review
     - Color Wheel Pro
4. Web Sites of Interest
     - Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time
     - Bonsai Potatoes
     - Dusty PC!
5. Jest Fer Larfs
     - How to hunt an Elephant

1. Back in Business

Hello Friends,

And a warm welcome to all our new subscribers too!

Getting newsletters prepared and sent out is has been a HUGE struggle of late. There's been all sorts of upsets physically, emotionally.. the works. However, the time has come to 'get back in the saddle' and reconnect with our customers and readers to let you know of recent additions and changes, and that we're getting ready to have a big year of upgrades and new products for your computing enjoyment.

Now, on with the fun stuff...

We have some winners!
Our two winners this edition are Steph and Susan who each receive a free copy of the home edition of Repligator - digital image manipulation for the rest of us! Check out what they've won and how it might help you with photo's, pictures and other graphical tasks here.


Tim Jones
Publisher, Aquarian News

But first... a word from our sponsor, and for a product I personally am starting use. Yes, even though I also build professional web sites for businesses (and anyone else wanting one) through our Nifty Web Design business, the SiteBuildIt product is simply incredible! It takes you by the hand and in step-by-step fashion shows you how to build a working and successful web site using techniques that done any other way would take you years to learn, believe I know, it took me years! So if you're looking to build a site yourself check it out today. This unique new web business building toolset. NO WHERE else can you get all these tools, seamlessly
linked together, in the one bundle! You're nuts if you don't give it a try, heck, it even comes with a money back guarantee...

If on the other hand you'd like someone who understands the web and how to build web sites that work for you, by all means feel free to drop us a line through www.NiftyWebDesign.com.au, I'd love to hear from you :-)

2. Special Deals

This month only, people if you order with a postal money order in $AUD can get an additional $5, or 10% (whichever is the greater!) off on top of any other discounts you may already qualify for! For details on TypingMaster: http://www.typing.com.au/5dollars_off.htm or contact us, for details on any other product.

3. Software Review

Color Wheel Pro
Color Wheel Pro is a unique software program that allows you to see colour theory in action. With Color Wheel Pro, you can create harmonious colour schemes and preview them on examples to give a real live view and feel for how the colours interact before you start building a report, web site, user interface or anything else requiring smart colour matching techniques.

Take the guess work out of colour matching today, and do like I do... use Color Wheel Pro! http://www.color-wheel-pro.com

I rate it a 8.

Oh, and yes... I know I've mixed my UK/OZ and USA English above in the spelling of the word Colo(u)r, that is done on purpose to try and cater all my audience ;-)

4. Web Sites of Interest

Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time
With that silly day of the year almost upon us, here are some of the whoppers that have been pulled over time:

Bonsai Potatoes
Are you the type of person who longs for patience and tranquility in your life? Of course you are, but in our modern society who has the time? Now it's possible. With the items contained in this kit you can quickly and efficiently reach an inner peace that can take monks an entire lifetime to achieve.

From Adam's-Apple-Jump to Zygomatic Smile, Items in this Dictionary have been researched by anthropologists, archaeologists,
biologists, linguists, psychiatrists, psychologists, semioticians, and others who have studied human communication from a scientific point of view. SO if you've ever wondered about such things, all the answers are here:

Dusty PC!
Now people, if I ever see a computer like this to work on for a customer... I'd run a mile!

VIRUS Myths & Hoaxes
With all the hulla-baloo recently about virii lately I thought it worth mentioning this link again!

Formerly the Computer Virus Myths home page Learn about computer virus myths, hoaxes, urban legends, and the implications if you
believe in them. You can also search a list of computer virus hoaxes from A to Z.

Shareware Discussion Newsgroups
Don't forget the new Newsgroups setup especially for YOU! These are moderated groups (moderated by a fellow Australian, Scott Kane) so are free from flames, spam and other forms of abuse. For on topic, helpful and prompt help and advice on any matters to do with shareware software you really should consider having a read of the new moderated newsgroups at:


5. Humor - Jest fer larfs...

With thanks to RobertY for forwarding this one on... It helps if you understand the idiosyncracies of the IT world ;-)

Elephant Hunting

IN order to hunt elephants:

A Programmer:
1. Begins at the tip of Africa
2. Performs alternating east to west, north to south search
3. Decrements the argument for the integer sequence for each search
4. Find and animal
5. Compares found animal to a known elephant
6. If found animal matches known elephant, terminates search, else resumes at 3
7. End

An Assembly Language Programmer:
Will perform the same search on hands and knees

An Engineer:
After determining that an animal is mammal, grey and weighs 3.628739*(10#)kg will begin the search collecting all grey mammals. When the sum of the weight of all collected grey mammals equals the specified weight of an elephant +/- 10% the search will be terminated.

Don't actually hunt elephants and indeed may never have hunted elephants, but they can be hired at great expense by the hour, plus expenses to advise those who do. This will include the time it takes to find out what in elephant is.

Don't hunt elephants, but they do follow herds arguing about who owns the droppings.

Quality Assurance Staff:
Ignore the elephants and spend their time looking for mistakes the hunters make while packing the jeep.

Sales Staff:
Don't hunt elephants either, but spend their time selling elephants the hunters haven't found yet, and promising delivery 2 days before the opening of elephant hunting season.

Software Sales Staff:
Ships the first thing they catch, write up an invoice for an elephant, modify the documentation to match and promise a real elephant at the next update.

Hardware Sales Staff:
Catch rabbits, paint them grey and sell them as laptop elephants.

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